if these ten things were women id totally bang them!!!

1. alabama - sweet home alabama yee haw!!!! i love the south. the accent is so hot. and dont get me started on those burning crosses. they make me HOT!!!!! literally and figuratively ROTFLMAOLOL southerners are the only true americans.

2. hillary clinton - omg champion of all thats right in the world. she will lead us into a one world communist revolution, just what we need. damn cappies.

3. the british empire - bring back the british empire! because ireland sucks. so does ghandi. so does america. especially that hole they call NOO YAWK LOL soon youll all be colonies again, peons.

4. macintosh - windows sux. cool people use macs. havent you ever seen the commercials? only capitalist bastards use windows. look at bill gates mister cappie bastard himself.

5. dunken donuts - because starbucks sux and is too expensive.

6. the boston red sox - YANKEES SUCKS LOL. srsly who likes them anyway? round up all yankees fans and send them back to canada. matsuzaka is the next babe ruth, youve heard it hear first.

7. intelligent design - its intelligent, nuff said LOL! no really tho i feel that evolution is a satanic conspiracy and thats what i believe and u have you respect that. in fact, what we really need is to put jesus's face on all our currency instead of those damn scientific presidents. i love you jesus.

8. car insurance rates in nyc - nice and affordable averaging 3000 per year. i definitely have that kind of money to burn. <3 payin for car insurance

9. summer weather - because snow SUX!!! what sucks more than having to take 5 extra minutes to drive into work in the morning? i dunno because that sucks harder than the libertarian party LOLROFLCRAFT!!!!

10. the government - governments in general are just so fine. especially big ones. what we need now is more patriot acts, more iraq wars, more taxes, more welfare, and especially a one world government. libertarians are so stupid.

thank you so much for reading this. i am forever indebted to your kickassness.