Words I hate

Writing the last article, I realized how much I dislike the word "bro." So then an entire list of words I loathe popped into my head. Enjoy:

Dude: Dude, you're getting a Dell. If by "Dell," you mean "arraignment," then yes.

Dudette: No comment.

Hella/hecka: My roommate uses both of these words, and both of them make baby Jesus cry. Especially "hecka." Worst of all, he's British and only lived in California for four years for undergrad. How these west coast words have made it into his vernacular is beyond me.

Y'all: First thing: you cannot contract the word "you" into "y'." It just doesn't work that way. Second thing: even if you could, "you all" is improper grammar. This gem of Southern slanguage fails on not one but two counts.

Hottie: I think this means "good looking guy/girl." Except that the word just makes the speaker sound like a moron when uttered.

Bloke: Ranks up there with "hottie" for the moron-factor, except with a bias for the Commonwealth nations.

Secular-Progressive: I actually liked Bill O'reilly before he started using this word to describe those who support the seperation of church and state. Why can't he just call them liberals? Instead he coins the term "secular-progressive" in a poor attempt to distinguish himself from the remainder of the right-wing pundits.

African-American: Hold your horses there, PC police. I only hate the word "African-American," not the black race. It wouldn't be so bad, except when filling out applications, surveys, and other forms, I'm normally given a choice among several races, including "white" and "African-American." Talk about a double standard. In such cases, I select "other" and write in "European-American" or "Irish-American" if I'm feeling really ethnic. Although in the end, it would just be easier to use the words "white" and "black" as nearly every other western nation does, but that would be too easy. We have to be anal about using PC terms, because certainly there aren't larger problems to worry about like significant income and education disparities between the races.

Artsy-fartsy: Yuck, sounds disgusting.

Spendy: I don't hate this word so much as it merely confuses me. I think it means either the opposite of frugal, or maybe expensive. It's commonly heard in the Northwest, and although I lived in that region for six years, I still don't get it.

And now onto some phrases!

Surf's up: No, it really isn't.

Ride some waves: Let's not.

Club-hopping: Because one club, four drinks, and two women just aren't enough for one night.

Big Apple: Who came up with this one? I'd wager that it was not a New Yorker. You'll never, ever, ever hear a New Yorker utter these two words. I feel dirty just typing them.