Today in New York, the big news was the stock market plunge. The Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 3.1%, or a whopping 416 points, the largest single-day drop since September 17, 2001 - the first trading day after 9/11. The NASDAQ fell 3.5%, or 50 points. European indices in the London Stock Exchange and Euronext experienced even larger drops, in certain cases exceding 4%.
Why is this? Blame Shanghai. Chinese stocks fell an amazing 9% today, spurring drops around the globe, particularly after 2:30est when the Shanghai markets closed. OUCH! But not surprising. The Chinese economy has been super-saturated for ages now.
Why do I care? Because I lost in excess of $350 in the market today. Yippee.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Everybody wants to live in Jersey
A quick search of "Sopranos Intro" on youtube yields a ton of spoofs on the Sopranos intro. In the Sopranos intro, Tony Soprano is shown driving out of the Lincoln Tunnel from NY into NJ. Then he gets on the NJ Turnpike and drives down to around exit 13 or so, past all sorts of factories and refineries and warehouses and other industrial crap common in NJ.
Sopranos fans have decided to spoof Tony's intro drive by driving through their own cities and filming it. Las Vegas, Melbourne, San Francisco, Vancouver, Tampa, Baltimore, Fargo, Los Angeles, etc. The common theme amongst them: they all suck. Because there's only one Jersey. The Baltimore one comes close, since Baltimore is a rust belt area like NJ, but even that one just isn't the same. The San Francisco one was far and away the worst. The entire concept of badasses like Tony Soprano living in SF is laughable at best. Bah.
God, I love the Sopranos.
Sopranos fans have decided to spoof Tony's intro drive by driving through their own cities and filming it. Las Vegas, Melbourne, San Francisco, Vancouver, Tampa, Baltimore, Fargo, Los Angeles, etc. The common theme amongst them: they all suck. Because there's only one Jersey. The Baltimore one comes close, since Baltimore is a rust belt area like NJ, but even that one just isn't the same. The San Francisco one was far and away the worst. The entire concept of badasses like Tony Soprano living in SF is laughable at best. Bah.
God, I love the Sopranos.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Things this winter sucks more than
The Million Mom March
The Yankees' performance in the 2004 ALCS
Paris Hilton
My last Abstract Algebra II problem set (got a 2/6 on it)
Grading Calculus II problem sets (which I sohuld be doing right now)
The Southern states
Waking up at 7:00
AOL
Windows ME
RAMBUS
Existentialists
Hippies
The Who
Oasis
Death Cab for Cutie (my roommate really likes this group. DCfC makes me want to drown myself)
Newark, New Jersey
Central Islip
LaGuardia Airport
The Long Island Expressway on a Friday evening
Monica Lewinski
The Democratic Party
The Republican Party
Northern Ireland
The Boston Red Sox
Rhode Island
The television show "Friends"
Smog Angeles
Toasted Pop Tarts (leave them untoasted!!!)
Morning classes
Sonic 3D Blast
Playstation 3
Final Fantasy XII
Final Fantasy XI
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy IX
Final Fantasy VIII
etc...
Dining hall food
Teenagers
The East Village
NYC tap water
The NY City Council
Elliot Spitzer
Hillary Clinton
Chuck Schumer
Charlie Rangel
In fact, this winter sucks more than all the above COMBINED. Not only that, but this winter has really sharp teath. So when it sucks, it hurts. Goddamn.
The Yankees' performance in the 2004 ALCS
Paris Hilton
My last Abstract Algebra II problem set (got a 2/6 on it)
Grading Calculus II problem sets (which I sohuld be doing right now)
The Southern states
Waking up at 7:00
AOL
Windows ME
RAMBUS
Existentialists
Hippies
The Who
Oasis
Death Cab for Cutie (my roommate really likes this group. DCfC makes me want to drown myself)
Newark, New Jersey
Central Islip
LaGuardia Airport
The Long Island Expressway on a Friday evening
Monica Lewinski
The Democratic Party
The Republican Party
Northern Ireland
The Boston Red Sox
Rhode Island
The television show "Friends"
Smog Angeles
Toasted Pop Tarts (leave them untoasted!!!)
Morning classes
Sonic 3D Blast
Playstation 3
Final Fantasy XII
Final Fantasy XI
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy IX
Final Fantasy VIII
etc...
Dining hall food
Teenagers
The East Village
NYC tap water
The NY City Council
Elliot Spitzer
Hillary Clinton
Chuck Schumer
Charlie Rangel
In fact, this winter sucks more than all the above COMBINED. Not only that, but this winter has really sharp teath. So when it sucks, it hurts. Goddamn.
I HATE NEW YORK WEATHER
B-b-b-bust :(
I'm now expecting 2 inches max when I wake up tomorrow morning.
Bombogenesis Schmombogenesis.
Waaaaaaaaah. This winter sucks.
I'm now expecting 2 inches max when I wake up tomorrow morning.
Bombogenesis Schmombogenesis.
Waaaaaaaaah. This winter sucks.
HEAVY SNOW WARNING - NYC/LI/NE NJ
URGENT - WINTER WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE UPTON NY
316 PM EST SUN FEB 25 2007
...STORM SYSTEM TO AFFECT THE AREA WITH SNOW TONIGHT THROUGH
MONDAY...
.AN AREA OF LOW PRESSURE DEVELOPING OVER NORTH CAROLINA WILL
APPROACH TONIGHT. THIS LOW IS FIRST EXPECTED TO MOVE SOUTH OF LONG
ISLAND BY MONDAY MORNING...THEN WELL TO THE EAST BY LATE IN THE DAY
MONDAY. IN THE MEANTIME...SNOW IS EXPECTED TONIGHT...AND LIGHT
SNOW WILL CONTINUE MONDAY.
NJZ002>006-011-NYZ072>076-260545-
/O.UPG.KOKX.WW.Y.0002.070226T0000Z-070226T2300Z/
/O.NEW.KOKX.HS.W.0001.070226T0000Z-070226T2300Z/
WESTERN PASSAIC-BERGEN-EASTERN PASSAIC-ESSEX-HUDSON-UNION-
NEW YORK (MANHATTAN)-BRONX-RICHMOND (STATEN ISLAND)-
KINGS (BROOKLYN)-QUEENS-
316 PM EST SUN FEB 25 2007
...HEAVY SNOW WARNING IN EFFECT FROM 7 PM THIS EVENING TO 6 PM
EST MONDAY...
...WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY NO LONGER IN EFFECT...
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN UPTON HAS ISSUED A HEAVY SNOW
WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 7 PM THIS EVENING TO 6 PM EST
MONDAY. THE WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT.
LIGHT SNOW WILL BEGIN ACROSS NORTHEASTERN NEW JERSEY AND NEW YORK
CITY EARLY THIS EVENING. HOWEVER...THE STEADIER SNOW WILL MOVE
INTO THE AREA AS THE EVENING PROGRESSES AND CONTINUE INTO MONDAY
MORNING. THE PRECIPITATION WILL BE PREDOMINATELY SNOW...BUT SOME
SLEET MAY MIX IN TONIGHT. LIGHTER SNOW IS EXPECTED TO CONTINUE
THROUGH MUCH OF THE DAY ON MONDAY. BY THE TIME THE PRECIPITATION
TAPERS OFF MONDAY EVENING...TOTAL SNOW AND SLEET ACCUMULATIONS OF
5 TO 7 INCHES ARE EXPECTED...WITH LOCALLY HEAVIER AMOUNTS
POSSIBLE.
AS ALWAYS...THE EXACT TRACK AND INTENSITY OF THE STORM WILL HAVE
AN IMPACT AS TO BOTH THE TYPE OF PRECIPITATION WE HAVE...AND HOW
MUCH FALLS ACROSS THE REGION. AS SUCH...RESIDENTS SHOULD CONTINUE
TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS AND STATEMENTS FROM THE NATIONAL
WEATHER SERVICE.
A HEAVY SNOW WARNING MEANS SEVERE WINTER WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE
EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF SNOW ARE FORECAST
THAT WILL MAKE TRAVEL DANGEROUS. ONLY TRAVEL IN AN EMERGENCY. IF
YOU MUST...KEEP AN EXTRA FLASHLIGHT...FOOD...AND WATER IN YOUR
VEHICLE IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY.
$$
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE UPTON NY
316 PM EST SUN FEB 25 2007
...STORM SYSTEM TO AFFECT THE AREA WITH SNOW TONIGHT THROUGH
MONDAY...
.AN AREA OF LOW PRESSURE DEVELOPING OVER NORTH CAROLINA WILL
APPROACH TONIGHT. THIS LOW IS FIRST EXPECTED TO MOVE SOUTH OF LONG
ISLAND BY MONDAY MORNING...THEN WELL TO THE EAST BY LATE IN THE DAY
MONDAY. IN THE MEANTIME...SNOW IS EXPECTED TONIGHT...AND LIGHT
SNOW WILL CONTINUE MONDAY.
NJZ002>006-011-NYZ072>076-260545-
/O.UPG.KOKX.WW.Y.0002.070226T0000Z-070226T2300Z/
/O.NEW.KOKX.HS.W.0001.070226T0000Z-070226T2300Z/
WESTERN PASSAIC-BERGEN-EASTERN PASSAIC-ESSEX-HUDSON-UNION-
NEW YORK (MANHATTAN)-BRONX-RICHMOND (STATEN ISLAND)-
KINGS (BROOKLYN)-QUEENS-
316 PM EST SUN FEB 25 2007
...HEAVY SNOW WARNING IN EFFECT FROM 7 PM THIS EVENING TO 6 PM
EST MONDAY...
...WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY NO LONGER IN EFFECT...
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN UPTON HAS ISSUED A HEAVY SNOW
WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 7 PM THIS EVENING TO 6 PM EST
MONDAY. THE WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT.
LIGHT SNOW WILL BEGIN ACROSS NORTHEASTERN NEW JERSEY AND NEW YORK
CITY EARLY THIS EVENING. HOWEVER...THE STEADIER SNOW WILL MOVE
INTO THE AREA AS THE EVENING PROGRESSES AND CONTINUE INTO MONDAY
MORNING. THE PRECIPITATION WILL BE PREDOMINATELY SNOW...BUT SOME
SLEET MAY MIX IN TONIGHT. LIGHTER SNOW IS EXPECTED TO CONTINUE
THROUGH MUCH OF THE DAY ON MONDAY. BY THE TIME THE PRECIPITATION
TAPERS OFF MONDAY EVENING...TOTAL SNOW AND SLEET ACCUMULATIONS OF
5 TO 7 INCHES ARE EXPECTED...WITH LOCALLY HEAVIER AMOUNTS
POSSIBLE.
AS ALWAYS...THE EXACT TRACK AND INTENSITY OF THE STORM WILL HAVE
AN IMPACT AS TO BOTH THE TYPE OF PRECIPITATION WE HAVE...AND HOW
MUCH FALLS ACROSS THE REGION. AS SUCH...RESIDENTS SHOULD CONTINUE
TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS AND STATEMENTS FROM THE NATIONAL
WEATHER SERVICE.
A HEAVY SNOW WARNING MEANS SEVERE WINTER WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE
EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF SNOW ARE FORECAST
THAT WILL MAKE TRAVEL DANGEROUS. ONLY TRAVEL IN AN EMERGENCY. IF
YOU MUST...KEEP AN EXTRA FLASHLIGHT...FOOD...AND WATER IN YOUR
VEHICLE IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY.
$$
Updated snowfall accumulations
I'm going to be a dork and modify my projected snowfall totals for the Northeast:
DCA: 2-4"
BWI: 3-6"
PHL: 4-7"
NYC: 5-8"
BOS: 3-7" (northern fringe accums)
Areas North and West of NYC in places like NW NJ and the lower Hudson Valley could get accums close to a foot due to good slr's and a lack of mixing.
DCA: 2-4"
BWI: 3-6"
PHL: 4-7"
NYC: 5-8"
BOS: 3-7" (northern fringe accums)
Areas North and West of NYC in places like NW NJ and the lower Hudson Valley could get accums close to a foot due to good slr's and a lack of mixing.
OMG SNOWSTORM!!!
:D :D :D
^_^ ^_^ ^_^
Clipper coming in from the west tonight. I'm forecasting 3-6 inches of snow for NYC, 2-4 for PHL, and 1-3 for BOS, DCA, and BWI. But DCA, BWI, and (to a lesser extent) PHL will have ice concerns as well. Could be a real mess tonight down in Washington.
Might make a map later if I have time.
^_^ ^_^ ^_^
Clipper coming in from the west tonight. I'm forecasting 3-6 inches of snow for NYC, 2-4 for PHL, and 1-3 for BOS, DCA, and BWI. But DCA, BWI, and (to a lesser extent) PHL will have ice concerns as well. Could be a real mess tonight down in Washington.
Might make a map later if I have time.
Best video on the web
http://youtube.com/watch?v=CjR0iNT10kI
Watch now! It's a guy commuting on his bicycle down 7th Avenue. He makes good time; he's only a minute or two slower than the subway, and a lot faster than the cars around him. So badass.
Watch now! It's a guy commuting on his bicycle down 7th Avenue. He makes good time; he's only a minute or two slower than the subway, and a lot faster than the cars around him. So badass.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
I wish I could fly more
As it is, I only end up flying twice a year. That is a shame. I know... most people dread flying. But I LIVE FOR IT!!! Let me count the ways:
1.) Electronic check-in
Thank you airlines for this wonderful innovation. No more waiting on line for hours waiting to check your damned bags in.
2.) The feeling of importance you get when you are running around an airport
Even when I'm not late for my flight, I like to RUN to my destination gate. Why? Because it makes me feel big and important, like an extraordinarily rich businessman who has better things to do than get to the airport on time. This feeling is enhanced when you wear a suit with the top button unbuttoned and a loose tie (I call this the "just had sex" look). Then after I get to my gate, I RUN to the Starbucks to get my favorite Frappuccino, then RUN to a shop to get a newspaper, then RUN back to my gate. And I still have a half hour to spare.
3.) Those moving walkways
With my half hour to spare, I RUN on these moving walkways, producing insanely fast speeds. Or, run AGAINST the motion of the walkway for increased fun and hilarity.
4.) Take-offs
Nuff said.
5.) Airline peanuts
They taste better than ordinary peanuts. I swear. Also those little cookies they serve are delicious. And the bloody maries they serve. Although they last charged me $5 for one of those.
6.) Those televisions on the seatbacks.
These are new, and they are lovely. They let you play in-flight trivia on these televisions, which generally involves me pwning the others on the plane. After each question, the game gives you a list of all the people on the plane playing (listed by seat number) and their current score. At the end of the game (ie when it declares me the winner and Benevolent Lord of Kickass) I make sure to pump my fist high into the air to make sure everyone knows who that genius sitting in seat 22A is.
7.) Landings
Again, nuff said.
8.) Meeting whomever at the destination airport
Because they wub me so much.
And that's about it. Flying is so great, I've been considering flying to London and back for $160 (what it costs to fly from JFK to LHR if you "know where to look"). On the same day. Plus all trans-Atlantic British Airways planes have the TV sets on the seatbacks, I've heard.
1.) Electronic check-in
Thank you airlines for this wonderful innovation. No more waiting on line for hours waiting to check your damned bags in.
2.) The feeling of importance you get when you are running around an airport
Even when I'm not late for my flight, I like to RUN to my destination gate. Why? Because it makes me feel big and important, like an extraordinarily rich businessman who has better things to do than get to the airport on time. This feeling is enhanced when you wear a suit with the top button unbuttoned and a loose tie (I call this the "just had sex" look). Then after I get to my gate, I RUN to the Starbucks to get my favorite Frappuccino, then RUN to a shop to get a newspaper, then RUN back to my gate. And I still have a half hour to spare.
3.) Those moving walkways
With my half hour to spare, I RUN on these moving walkways, producing insanely fast speeds. Or, run AGAINST the motion of the walkway for increased fun and hilarity.
4.) Take-offs
Nuff said.
5.) Airline peanuts
They taste better than ordinary peanuts. I swear. Also those little cookies they serve are delicious. And the bloody maries they serve. Although they last charged me $5 for one of those.
6.) Those televisions on the seatbacks.
These are new, and they are lovely. They let you play in-flight trivia on these televisions, which generally involves me pwning the others on the plane. After each question, the game gives you a list of all the people on the plane playing (listed by seat number) and their current score. At the end of the game (ie when it declares me the winner and Benevolent Lord of Kickass) I make sure to pump my fist high into the air to make sure everyone knows who that genius sitting in seat 22A is.
7.) Landings
Again, nuff said.
8.) Meeting whomever at the destination airport
Because they wub me so much.
And that's about it. Flying is so great, I've been considering flying to London and back for $160 (what it costs to fly from JFK to LHR if you "know where to look"). On the same day. Plus all trans-Atlantic British Airways planes have the TV sets on the seatbacks, I've heard.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Words I hate
Writing the last article, I realized how much I dislike the word "bro." So then an entire list of words I loathe popped into my head. Enjoy:
Dude: Dude, you're getting a Dell. If by "Dell," you mean "arraignment," then yes.
Dudette: No comment.
Hella/hecka: My roommate uses both of these words, and both of them make baby Jesus cry. Especially "hecka." Worst of all, he's British and only lived in California for four years for undergrad. How these west coast words have made it into his vernacular is beyond me.
Y'all: First thing: you cannot contract the word "you" into "y'." It just doesn't work that way. Second thing: even if you could, "you all" is improper grammar. This gem of Southern slanguage fails on not one but two counts.
Hottie: I think this means "good looking guy/girl." Except that the word just makes the speaker sound like a moron when uttered.
Bloke: Ranks up there with "hottie" for the moron-factor, except with a bias for the Commonwealth nations.
Secular-Progressive: I actually liked Bill O'reilly before he started using this word to describe those who support the seperation of church and state. Why can't he just call them liberals? Instead he coins the term "secular-progressive" in a poor attempt to distinguish himself from the remainder of the right-wing pundits.
African-American: Hold your horses there, PC police. I only hate the word "African-American," not the black race. It wouldn't be so bad, except when filling out applications, surveys, and other forms, I'm normally given a choice among several races, including "white" and "African-American." Talk about a double standard. In such cases, I select "other" and write in "European-American" or "Irish-American" if I'm feeling really ethnic. Although in the end, it would just be easier to use the words "white" and "black" as nearly every other western nation does, but that would be too easy. We have to be anal about using PC terms, because certainly there aren't larger problems to worry about like significant income and education disparities between the races.
Artsy-fartsy: Yuck, sounds disgusting.
Spendy: I don't hate this word so much as it merely confuses me. I think it means either the opposite of frugal, or maybe expensive. It's commonly heard in the Northwest, and although I lived in that region for six years, I still don't get it.
And now onto some phrases!
Surf's up: No, it really isn't.
Ride some waves: Let's not.
Club-hopping: Because one club, four drinks, and two women just aren't enough for one night.
Big Apple: Who came up with this one? I'd wager that it was not a New Yorker. You'll never, ever, ever hear a New Yorker utter these two words. I feel dirty just typing them.
Dude: Dude, you're getting a Dell. If by "Dell," you mean "arraignment," then yes.
Dudette: No comment.
Hella/hecka: My roommate uses both of these words, and both of them make baby Jesus cry. Especially "hecka." Worst of all, he's British and only lived in California for four years for undergrad. How these west coast words have made it into his vernacular is beyond me.
Y'all: First thing: you cannot contract the word "you" into "y'." It just doesn't work that way. Second thing: even if you could, "you all" is improper grammar. This gem of Southern slanguage fails on not one but two counts.
Hottie: I think this means "good looking guy/girl." Except that the word just makes the speaker sound like a moron when uttered.
Bloke: Ranks up there with "hottie" for the moron-factor, except with a bias for the Commonwealth nations.
Secular-Progressive: I actually liked Bill O'reilly before he started using this word to describe those who support the seperation of church and state. Why can't he just call them liberals? Instead he coins the term "secular-progressive" in a poor attempt to distinguish himself from the remainder of the right-wing pundits.
African-American: Hold your horses there, PC police. I only hate the word "African-American," not the black race. It wouldn't be so bad, except when filling out applications, surveys, and other forms, I'm normally given a choice among several races, including "white" and "African-American." Talk about a double standard. In such cases, I select "other" and write in "European-American" or "Irish-American" if I'm feeling really ethnic. Although in the end, it would just be easier to use the words "white" and "black" as nearly every other western nation does, but that would be too easy. We have to be anal about using PC terms, because certainly there aren't larger problems to worry about like significant income and education disparities between the races.
Artsy-fartsy: Yuck, sounds disgusting.
Spendy: I don't hate this word so much as it merely confuses me. I think it means either the opposite of frugal, or maybe expensive. It's commonly heard in the Northwest, and although I lived in that region for six years, I still don't get it.
And now onto some phrases!
Surf's up: No, it really isn't.
Ride some waves: Let's not.
Club-hopping: Because one club, four drinks, and two women just aren't enough for one night.
Big Apple: Who came up with this one? I'd wager that it was not a New Yorker. You'll never, ever, ever hear a New Yorker utter these two words. I feel dirty just typing them.
Techno sucks
I am generally open-minded when it comes to music. Rock, classical, and jazz are all lovely. Even country and rap have a few songs that are decent. Not really a fan of those two genres, but I tolerate them.
But I draw the line at techno. This is the one musical genre that I absolutely cannot stand. Ever sicne the start of the spring semester, the people in the apartment next to mine have taken to listening to techno music late into the night. And by that, I mean until 4am, every night. Even weeknights. The line has been drawn, and these assmunches are so far away from the line, they cannot even see the line.
So the other day I politely asked them to turn it down a bit, since it was late, my roommate had a midterm the following morning, and I was tired of listening to him complain about the situation. They turned it down, then back up five minutes later. I went back over there and the same guy answered. So I just smiled at him and expected him to understand. Instead he gave me a blank stare. "So yeah... could you turn it down?"
"No can do, bro."
"Why not?"
"You look like you need a beer."
"Well, ok."
So he invited me in and I had a beer. It was a Sam Adams, and I like Sam Adams. So all was good.
But I draw the line at techno. This is the one musical genre that I absolutely cannot stand. Ever sicne the start of the spring semester, the people in the apartment next to mine have taken to listening to techno music late into the night. And by that, I mean until 4am, every night. Even weeknights. The line has been drawn, and these assmunches are so far away from the line, they cannot even see the line.
So the other day I politely asked them to turn it down a bit, since it was late, my roommate had a midterm the following morning, and I was tired of listening to him complain about the situation. They turned it down, then back up five minutes later. I went back over there and the same guy answered. So I just smiled at him and expected him to understand. Instead he gave me a blank stare. "So yeah... could you turn it down?"
"No can do, bro."
"Why not?"
"You look like you need a beer."
"Well, ok."
So he invited me in and I had a beer. It was a Sam Adams, and I like Sam Adams. So all was good.
When I turn 35
I am running for President on the following platform:
1. Mandatory gun ownership for all men AND women between the ages of 18 and 65.
How many times have you come across someone who has never laid hands on a rifle before? I've met a few, and these encounters are always awkward. Teach marksmanship in high school (they already do this in many Western states) and give kids a gun rather than a ring for graduation. Look at Switzerland: mandatory gun ownership for all men aged between 20 and 42. One of the lowest crime rates in Europe. And when was the last time someone had the balls to invade Switzerland? Compare this to Poland, France, etc.
2. A National Beatles Appreciation Day
No, they're not American, and no, I don't care. Best thing to come out of Liverpool since the word "youse." Beatles rule.
3. The replacement of the "Star Spangeled Banner" with the Beatles classic "Ob-la-di, ob-la-da."
America has one of the worst national anthems of any western civilization. We deserve better. This can be announced on America's first National Beatles Appreciation Day.
4. Rent control + free utilities + no broker fee for any apartment the President wishes to rent in the City of New York.
How many times have you looked through Craiglist to find 95% of Manhattan brokers want a $5,000 broker fee for their "hard work"? By "hard work," they mean informing you of the exact address of an apartment you found listed yourself. Entirely lame. Compounded with the fact that utilities run for as much as $200/month for a studio in this town plus the fact that rents go up nearly $100 every year, I cannot afford to live in Manhattan after college. A travesty. The President should get special treatment and be exempt from such atrocities.
5. Mandatory cessation of the use of mustard on hamburgers nationwide.
Most of the nation continues to put this yellow garbage on their hamburgers. Too bad this yellow stuff (they call it "Mustard") tastes horrible. In New York, hamburgers are never served with mustard, and if you ask for it, you'll get a funny look. That is how it ought to be.
6. Free pop-tarts in public school breakfasts nationwide.
Enough said.
7. The long-needed construction of a bronze statue of John Lennon in Strawberry Fields and a moniment to the fab four on the National Mall.
We have an area called "Strawberry Fields" dedicated to the magnificant John Lennon the Great in Central Park. But in it, no statue. It is time for one. Also, build a monument to the Beatles right on the National Mall in Washington.
8. Free leather jackets for all.
So we can all be cool like the Fonz.
Kearns-McCartney (my running mate... nevermind that he's not an American citizen) 2020!
1. Mandatory gun ownership for all men AND women between the ages of 18 and 65.
How many times have you come across someone who has never laid hands on a rifle before? I've met a few, and these encounters are always awkward. Teach marksmanship in high school (they already do this in many Western states) and give kids a gun rather than a ring for graduation. Look at Switzerland: mandatory gun ownership for all men aged between 20 and 42. One of the lowest crime rates in Europe. And when was the last time someone had the balls to invade Switzerland? Compare this to Poland, France, etc.
2. A National Beatles Appreciation Day
No, they're not American, and no, I don't care. Best thing to come out of Liverpool since the word "youse." Beatles rule.
3. The replacement of the "Star Spangeled Banner" with the Beatles classic "Ob-la-di, ob-la-da."
America has one of the worst national anthems of any western civilization. We deserve better. This can be announced on America's first National Beatles Appreciation Day.
4. Rent control + free utilities + no broker fee for any apartment the President wishes to rent in the City of New York.
How many times have you looked through Craiglist to find 95% of Manhattan brokers want a $5,000 broker fee for their "hard work"? By "hard work," they mean informing you of the exact address of an apartment you found listed yourself. Entirely lame. Compounded with the fact that utilities run for as much as $200/month for a studio in this town plus the fact that rents go up nearly $100 every year, I cannot afford to live in Manhattan after college. A travesty. The President should get special treatment and be exempt from such atrocities.
5. Mandatory cessation of the use of mustard on hamburgers nationwide.
Most of the nation continues to put this yellow garbage on their hamburgers. Too bad this yellow stuff (they call it "Mustard") tastes horrible. In New York, hamburgers are never served with mustard, and if you ask for it, you'll get a funny look. That is how it ought to be.
6. Free pop-tarts in public school breakfasts nationwide.
Enough said.
7. The long-needed construction of a bronze statue of John Lennon in Strawberry Fields and a moniment to the fab four on the National Mall.
We have an area called "Strawberry Fields" dedicated to the magnificant John Lennon the Great in Central Park. But in it, no statue. It is time for one. Also, build a monument to the Beatles right on the National Mall in Washington.
8. Free leather jackets for all.
So we can all be cool like the Fonz.
Kearns-McCartney (my running mate... nevermind that he's not an American citizen) 2020!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
NYU in the national spotlight!
The NY Times, CNN, Fox News, and other media outlets seem to be fascinated with the College Republicans' decision to host a "Find the Illegal Immigrant" game, where a club member dresses up as an illegal and wears a sign that says "Illegal Immigrant." Members of the club and all other NYU students who want to participate then run around Greenwich Village in search of the "illegal." Whoever finds him first wins some sort of prize.
But many NYU students find this offensive and are protesting. On my way to class this morning I saw protestors waving signs that say things such as "Nobody is illegal" and "Go back to England, Pilgrim." Of course, because people have decided to protest this en masse the local and even national media is covering the shit out of this silly game. The Republicans get what they were after, media coverage, thanks to dopey protestors.
But what annoys me is that (keep in mind that NYU has no campus) kids are running all around the crowded streets of Greenwich Village like morons. Call me old fashioned, but when you live in a neighborhood with a population density of 100,000 people per square mile, the last thing you want to see is people chasing after some idiot dressed as an illegal through shoulder-to-shoulder crowds.
And one more thing. The protestors have Waverly Place blocked off. Which made me late for class. Grrrrrrrrr. This is nearly as bad as when they were filming some Will Smith movie at Washington Square (about zombies or aliens or something).
Arghhhhhhh!
UPDATE: Make that International Spotlight. BBC is now covering us. Whoopee.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6387183.stm
But many NYU students find this offensive and are protesting. On my way to class this morning I saw protestors waving signs that say things such as "Nobody is illegal" and "Go back to England, Pilgrim." Of course, because people have decided to protest this en masse the local and even national media is covering the shit out of this silly game. The Republicans get what they were after, media coverage, thanks to dopey protestors.
But what annoys me is that (keep in mind that NYU has no campus) kids are running all around the crowded streets of Greenwich Village like morons. Call me old fashioned, but when you live in a neighborhood with a population density of 100,000 people per square mile, the last thing you want to see is people chasing after some idiot dressed as an illegal through shoulder-to-shoulder crowds.
And one more thing. The protestors have Waverly Place blocked off. Which made me late for class. Grrrrrrrrr. This is nearly as bad as when they were filming some Will Smith movie at Washington Square (about zombies or aliens or something).
Arghhhhhhh!
UPDATE: Make that International Spotlight. BBC is now covering us. Whoopee.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6387183.stm
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Who would be a better President? Hillary Clinton or a box of Cheez-its?
A scientific study of mine:
Hillary: Is a supporter of the war in Iraq, at least when it's quasi-popular to take such a stance.
Cheez-its: Is a supporter of the war against hunger between that obnoxious 4-6 hour gap between lunch and dinner.
Advantage: Cheez-its
Hillary: Waffles on the issue of "partial-birth" abortion.
Cheez-its: Doesn't go well with waffles.
Advantage: Draw
Hillary: Costs $400,000.
Cheez-its: Costs $3.
Advantage: Cheez-its
Hillary: Wastes thousands of federal dollars to go on trips to Iraq and Israel, despite the fact that she could easily pay for those trips herself.
Cheez-its: Just sits there.
Advantage: Cheez-its
Hillary: Supports health care for all Americans.
Cheez-its: Supports a continuation of America's status as the most overweight nation on earth.
Advantage: Hillary
Hillary: Has such a large lead in the Democratic primary, she can taste victory.
Cheez-its: Tastes like cheezy goodness.
Advantage: Cheez-its
Overall Advantage: A tough choice indeed, but with a margin of 4-1, I'm going with Cheez-its for President.
Hillary: Is a supporter of the war in Iraq, at least when it's quasi-popular to take such a stance.
Cheez-its: Is a supporter of the war against hunger between that obnoxious 4-6 hour gap between lunch and dinner.
Advantage: Cheez-its
Hillary: Waffles on the issue of "partial-birth" abortion.
Cheez-its: Doesn't go well with waffles.
Advantage: Draw
Hillary: Costs $400,000.
Cheez-its: Costs $3.
Advantage: Cheez-its
Hillary: Wastes thousands of federal dollars to go on trips to Iraq and Israel, despite the fact that she could easily pay for those trips herself.
Cheez-its: Just sits there.
Advantage: Cheez-its
Hillary: Supports health care for all Americans.
Cheez-its: Supports a continuation of America's status as the most overweight nation on earth.
Advantage: Hillary
Hillary: Has such a large lead in the Democratic primary, she can taste victory.
Cheez-its: Tastes like cheezy goodness.
Advantage: Cheez-its
Overall Advantage: A tough choice indeed, but with a margin of 4-1, I'm going with Cheez-its for President.
Cancelling my WoW subscription
There comes a time in every man's life when he must make the hardest decision of his life: whether or not to cancel his subscription to his favorite MMORPG. For me, that decision was made today.
What made it harder was the plee from Blizzard Entertainment begging me to reconsider:
"Are you sure you want to cancel your subscription to World of Warcraft? You're making the peon cry."
(peons being the builder unit of the Orc race)
So many n00bs ganked, harassed, or otherwise pwned. So many memories.
Goodbye, World of Warcraft. *salutes*
What made it harder was the plee from Blizzard Entertainment begging me to reconsider:
"Are you sure you want to cancel your subscription to World of Warcraft? You're making the peon cry."
(peons being the builder unit of the Orc race)
So many n00bs ganked, harassed, or otherwise pwned. So many memories.
Goodbye, World of Warcraft. *salutes*
More on Giuliani
Hardball host Chris Matthews was on Don Imus's radio show this morning. They were talking about Scooter Libby and other issues I don't care about (Imus doesn't care about them either, apparently). But they started discussing Giuliani and Matthews, from Philadelphia, got a bit excited:
"We love good mayors because we love our cities and Giuliani's the city guy. I'm so sick of Southern guys with ranches running this country. I want a guy to run for president who doesn't have a fucking - I'm sorry - a ranch. Wouldn't that be good, a guy who wasn't on a ranch during Katrina, he [Giuliani] was on the street corner answering questions [during 9/11]."
OMG THE F WORD! But it's ok; the FCC says it's ok as long as it's used as an adjective and not a verb. Echoes my thoughts exactly, f bomb and all.
"We love good mayors because we love our cities and Giuliani's the city guy. I'm so sick of Southern guys with ranches running this country. I want a guy to run for president who doesn't have a fucking - I'm sorry - a ranch. Wouldn't that be good, a guy who wasn't on a ranch during Katrina, he [Giuliani] was on the street corner answering questions [during 9/11]."
OMG THE F WORD! But it's ok; the FCC says it's ok as long as it's used as an adjective and not a verb. Echoes my thoughts exactly, f bomb and all.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
GIve California back to the Mexicans
There is talk amongst right-wing pundits across America, 99% of whom don't reside in the Southwest, that Mexico is attempting a so-called "reconquista" of the American Southwest, and that this is an outrage. Is it such a bad thing that Mexico is attempting to take the Southwestern states back? Time for a history lesson methinks.
After the War of 1812 and the second straight defeat of the mighty British Empire, young little America began to realize that it wasn't really so little anymore. And for the first time since the election of George Washington to the Presidency, America was united. In the aftermath of the surprisingly successful War of 1812, America had entered into the "Era of Good Fealings" - probably the only such era in American history. And that lasted until 1825.
Democrats wanted to ride the new wave of national pride all the way to the Pacific Coast, while Whigs prefered to focus on the already-acquired Louisiana Territory. Southerners (and the Democrats who were based largely in the South at this time) saw California and they drooled over it. Why? Because California would make for such a lovely slave state, with its warm climate. New Mexico and Arizona were sort of in the way, but they could be slave states as well. Nevermind the fact that the residents in CA, AZ, and NM were morally opposed to the slave power. Forward with Manifest Destiny!
This all came to head with the election of President James Polk, a Southerner, a Democrat, and a supporter of westward expansion. Polk was controversial because, like his fellow Democrats, he wanted California, which would make for such a lovely addition to the Cotton Empire. Most Northern Whigs did NOT want California - the addition of even just one more slave state would mean the Northern states would be outnumbered in Congress. But Polk was President, so full steam ahead to California!
Only one problem. California was part of Mexico. As was Arizona and New Mexico. So we needed to come up with a reason to declare war on Mexico. Polk put some soldiers in disputed territory near the Rio-Grande River in Texas, and some Mexicans might or might not have actually attacked those American soldiers. Anyway, Polk used that as reason to go to war. Quickly we marched to California and gobbled that up along with AZ and NM, and Mexico was left wondering "wtf mates?"
As you MIGHT be able to tell, I sympathize with Mexico. If they want to "reconquista" land that is rightfully theres, then they can have at it. We stole it from them; they have every right to "steal" it back. Lou Dobbs and Pat Buchanan can shut up.
After the War of 1812 and the second straight defeat of the mighty British Empire, young little America began to realize that it wasn't really so little anymore. And for the first time since the election of George Washington to the Presidency, America was united. In the aftermath of the surprisingly successful War of 1812, America had entered into the "Era of Good Fealings" - probably the only such era in American history. And that lasted until 1825.
Democrats wanted to ride the new wave of national pride all the way to the Pacific Coast, while Whigs prefered to focus on the already-acquired Louisiana Territory. Southerners (and the Democrats who were based largely in the South at this time) saw California and they drooled over it. Why? Because California would make for such a lovely slave state, with its warm climate. New Mexico and Arizona were sort of in the way, but they could be slave states as well. Nevermind the fact that the residents in CA, AZ, and NM were morally opposed to the slave power. Forward with Manifest Destiny!
This all came to head with the election of President James Polk, a Southerner, a Democrat, and a supporter of westward expansion. Polk was controversial because, like his fellow Democrats, he wanted California, which would make for such a lovely addition to the Cotton Empire. Most Northern Whigs did NOT want California - the addition of even just one more slave state would mean the Northern states would be outnumbered in Congress. But Polk was President, so full steam ahead to California!
Only one problem. California was part of Mexico. As was Arizona and New Mexico. So we needed to come up with a reason to declare war on Mexico. Polk put some soldiers in disputed territory near the Rio-Grande River in Texas, and some Mexicans might or might not have actually attacked those American soldiers. Anyway, Polk used that as reason to go to war. Quickly we marched to California and gobbled that up along with AZ and NM, and Mexico was left wondering "wtf mates?"
As you MIGHT be able to tell, I sympathize with Mexico. If they want to "reconquista" land that is rightfully theres, then they can have at it. We stole it from them; they have every right to "steal" it back. Lou Dobbs and Pat Buchanan can shut up.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Pondering Presidential Possibilities
So my boy Rudy Giuliani has recently announced that he intends on running for President. It's no secret that I'm of the opinion that Rudy is the best thing since Ruffles potato chips. Let me explain why:
It's been said that New York is the "least American of American cities" whatever that means. I suppose the author of that phrase meant that the local culture here is vastly different from America "west of the Hudson River" which is certainly true - can't argue against that. When people in Illinois or Kansas or California hug their cars, New Yorkers ride the subway. When Idahoans shop at Wal-mart for groceries, New Yorkers shop at the corner store down the street. When a rash of red overtakes much of the country, New York stays undoubtably blue, with one exception: when Rudy Giuliani runs for President.
There's a huge culture clash between the two Americas (I don't consider New York any less American than Kentucky as some elitests do). The "Everywhere else" America has dominated politics for years and years, ever since the days of FDR. And before him, Theodore Roosevelt. New Yorkers are often criticised as being too hard, but many a New Yorker would respond with the assertion that other Americans are too soft.
In so many ways, Rudy Giuliani epitomizes the stereotypical New Yorker. He's divorced twice (on his third marriage now), publically humiliates and fires high-ranking government officials, and generally doesn't give a flying fuck what others think of him. It took that sort of leader to fix New York in a time when the city was deemed "ungovernable." 2500 homicides per year, the worst schools in the nation, and a homeless population so gigantic you literally had to step over. Things were a mess and it took the most bad-ass of badasses, Rudy, to fix it.
As a child growing up in the New York of the late 80's and early 90's, I remember well the condition the city was in. Yes, crime and poverty were out of control. But the worst part was that the city was losing pride in itself. There was a very real fear that Tokyo would overtake New York as the world's foremost city. People here were beaten down in economic dispair. Giuliani gave us something to be proud of. The Tokyo threat fell apart and we quickly became the safest and most prosperous city in the United States. Now that dull cities like Cincinnati, Kansas City, and Portland were more dangerous than New York, there really was no reason to live in any of those places (in a New Yorker's mind at least). The city was sparkling clean; we were more arrogant than ever. Badass Rudy had successfully governed the ungovernable. And it was lovely.
On that Tuesday morning in September, I woke up to see the story unfolding on television. I had moved to Montana by that time and New York was but a distant memory. My mom shook me awake yelling that "New York was being bombed!" Huh? What the fuck? Let me tell you, being a New Yorker, knowing the exact locations of all the WTC footage, and wondering if a nuke was coming next was unsettling. In a time when our President was reading books to children, shuttling himself around the country, and otherwise missing in action, Rudy was there, keeping things as calm as possible. For once, the world saw a different side of Rudolph William Louis Giuliani III. No longer was he embarassing one of his two ex-wives on Channel 2, threatening to throw the United Nations out of New York, or otherwise being typical hard Rudy. He was soft when we needed it most. I won't forget his speech to the city late that night: "The number of casualties will be more than any of us can bear" with a tear running down his cheek. But Rudy wasn't the only only one showing his other side - nearly each and every one of the eight million New Yorkers behaved differently that day. The stereotype of the hardened New Yorker was shattered. The world had discovered New York's deepest, darkest secret: New Yorkers only WANT to be seen as rude, hard, and uncaring. It was all a show.
A lot of people not familiar with New York can't ever understand the emotional transformation the city went through, nor will they understand Rudy's part in that. And who can blame them if they've never set foot in the place? Probably sounds really quite corny. But we'd been hit in the kneecaps - hard - with a metal baseball bat. And no, it wasn't entirely Rudy that repaired our knees.
The following morning, newspapers around the world had all sorts of touching headlines. On the front page of the San Francisco Examiner was the headline "Bastards!" France's "Le Monde" had declared "We are all New Yorkers." The BBC compared modern-day America to the British Empire during its glory days, with New York as the modern-day London. The world had rallied around us.
And then our President invaded Iraq in 2003 and pissed it all away.
So that brings us to today, and why America needs Rudy. Let's face it, many in the world thinks we're morons. I'm not worried about them in particular: if they assume that the American public is stupid just because our President is a moron, then they're probably assholes. But there are more reasonable ones out there. Let's not give the assholes more arguments to use against us.
The most worrying problem, though, is that Americans are embarassed to admit that they're from America. Some American tourists in Europe even pretend they're Canadian. The fact that Bush has put Americans in this position is a damn shame.
We need Rudy to breathe pride back into our national psyche, just as he made New York a proud city during the 90's. We need a leader.
It's been said that New York is the "least American of American cities" whatever that means. I suppose the author of that phrase meant that the local culture here is vastly different from America "west of the Hudson River" which is certainly true - can't argue against that. When people in Illinois or Kansas or California hug their cars, New Yorkers ride the subway. When Idahoans shop at Wal-mart for groceries, New Yorkers shop at the corner store down the street. When a rash of red overtakes much of the country, New York stays undoubtably blue, with one exception: when Rudy Giuliani runs for President.
There's a huge culture clash between the two Americas (I don't consider New York any less American than Kentucky as some elitests do). The "Everywhere else" America has dominated politics for years and years, ever since the days of FDR. And before him, Theodore Roosevelt. New Yorkers are often criticised as being too hard, but many a New Yorker would respond with the assertion that other Americans are too soft.
In so many ways, Rudy Giuliani epitomizes the stereotypical New Yorker. He's divorced twice (on his third marriage now), publically humiliates and fires high-ranking government officials, and generally doesn't give a flying fuck what others think of him. It took that sort of leader to fix New York in a time when the city was deemed "ungovernable." 2500 homicides per year, the worst schools in the nation, and a homeless population so gigantic you literally had to step over. Things were a mess and it took the most bad-ass of badasses, Rudy, to fix it.
As a child growing up in the New York of the late 80's and early 90's, I remember well the condition the city was in. Yes, crime and poverty were out of control. But the worst part was that the city was losing pride in itself. There was a very real fear that Tokyo would overtake New York as the world's foremost city. People here were beaten down in economic dispair. Giuliani gave us something to be proud of. The Tokyo threat fell apart and we quickly became the safest and most prosperous city in the United States. Now that dull cities like Cincinnati, Kansas City, and Portland were more dangerous than New York, there really was no reason to live in any of those places (in a New Yorker's mind at least). The city was sparkling clean; we were more arrogant than ever. Badass Rudy had successfully governed the ungovernable. And it was lovely.
On that Tuesday morning in September, I woke up to see the story unfolding on television. I had moved to Montana by that time and New York was but a distant memory. My mom shook me awake yelling that "New York was being bombed!" Huh? What the fuck? Let me tell you, being a New Yorker, knowing the exact locations of all the WTC footage, and wondering if a nuke was coming next was unsettling. In a time when our President was reading books to children, shuttling himself around the country, and otherwise missing in action, Rudy was there, keeping things as calm as possible. For once, the world saw a different side of Rudolph William Louis Giuliani III. No longer was he embarassing one of his two ex-wives on Channel 2, threatening to throw the United Nations out of New York, or otherwise being typical hard Rudy. He was soft when we needed it most. I won't forget his speech to the city late that night: "The number of casualties will be more than any of us can bear" with a tear running down his cheek. But Rudy wasn't the only only one showing his other side - nearly each and every one of the eight million New Yorkers behaved differently that day. The stereotype of the hardened New Yorker was shattered. The world had discovered New York's deepest, darkest secret: New Yorkers only WANT to be seen as rude, hard, and uncaring. It was all a show.
A lot of people not familiar with New York can't ever understand the emotional transformation the city went through, nor will they understand Rudy's part in that. And who can blame them if they've never set foot in the place? Probably sounds really quite corny. But we'd been hit in the kneecaps - hard - with a metal baseball bat. And no, it wasn't entirely Rudy that repaired our knees.
The following morning, newspapers around the world had all sorts of touching headlines. On the front page of the San Francisco Examiner was the headline "Bastards!" France's "Le Monde" had declared "We are all New Yorkers." The BBC compared modern-day America to the British Empire during its glory days, with New York as the modern-day London. The world had rallied around us.
And then our President invaded Iraq in 2003 and pissed it all away.
So that brings us to today, and why America needs Rudy. Let's face it, many in the world thinks we're morons. I'm not worried about them in particular: if they assume that the American public is stupid just because our President is a moron, then they're probably assholes. But there are more reasonable ones out there. Let's not give the assholes more arguments to use against us.
The most worrying problem, though, is that Americans are embarassed to admit that they're from America. Some American tourists in Europe even pretend they're Canadian. The fact that Bush has put Americans in this position is a damn shame.
We need Rudy to breathe pride back into our national psyche, just as he made New York a proud city during the 90's. We need a leader.
On a lighter note!
Funny post I came across on a forum I frequent:
"We may also move from New York to Montana. Unfortunately, our kids moved out that way, and we are forced to follow- not too happy about it from the photos I've seen. We are looking to move somewhere a lot like it is here- lots of malls, people, and shopping. I'm not a huge fan of the outdoors, but my son likes to go camping twice a year. Are there any areas with Neiman Marcus, or an upscale mall type area? Also, do they service foreign cars up there or just American cars (we both drive Mercedes).
Also, is it possible to still buy a home for under $700k? Are the people educated like they are here in NY or just country folk? We will need to live near a good pizza place and Chinese food! Are there radio stations that play music other than country music? We are both in real estate/ homebuilding- I hear that there is plenty of prime land out there for development, is that true?"
LOL! Best read I've had in a while. Thank you, poster "Forest Gumpp"
"We may also move from New York to Montana. Unfortunately, our kids moved out that way, and we are forced to follow- not too happy about it from the photos I've seen. We are looking to move somewhere a lot like it is here- lots of malls, people, and shopping. I'm not a huge fan of the outdoors, but my son likes to go camping twice a year. Are there any areas with Neiman Marcus, or an upscale mall type area? Also, do they service foreign cars up there or just American cars (we both drive Mercedes).
Also, is it possible to still buy a home for under $700k? Are the people educated like they are here in NY or just country folk? We will need to live near a good pizza place and Chinese food! Are there radio stations that play music other than country music? We are both in real estate/ homebuilding- I hear that there is plenty of prime land out there for development, is that true?"
LOL! Best read I've had in a while. Thank you, poster "Forest Gumpp"
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Yes, I am a Stupid American (tm). Would you like Freedom Fries with that?
I had an interesting conversation with a dude at the local Chipotle yesterday. I overheard a conversation between two Americans that went something like this:
Pretentious asshat #1: "I think France is such a civilized country. They're so forward-thinking."
Pretentious asshat #2: "You think so? I've always had a thing for the Netherlands. My brother loves it over there."
#1: "Oh really? He still dating that Brazilian chick?"
#2: "Actually, I think he's a moron for this, but he dumped her for some Stupid American."
#1: "OH GOD!! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! AN AMERICAN?"
(at this point I am biting my tongue so hard it's bleeding)
#2: "I know... dumbass. She's from Idaho."
#1: "Does she smell like redneck?"
My mother was born in a small town outside Spokane, Washington about 5 miles from the Idaho border, so I sort of glared at them by accident.
#2. "Everyone smells like redneck in America. I SOOO need to get out of here."
So then I snapped:
Me: "Why don't you?"
#2: "Excuse me?"
Me: "If you don't like living in America, why don't you leave? Don't you think life is too short to waste it in a place you dispise?"
#2: "Well... my mother lives Upstate and I don't want to leave her alone."
Me: "Oh really? Where?"
#2: "Watertown."
Me: "Ah. So she's within an hour of Canada?"
#2: "Yes."
Me: "So why don't you move to Canada? Montreal I hear is lovely."
#1: "What are you getting at?"
Me: "Let the poor boy answer the question."
#2: "What? Oh yeah. If I do make a move, it'd be to Amsterdam."
Me: "But I thought you just said you didn't want to leave your mother all alone?"
#2: "Yeah, but she'll be fine."
Me: "So why not move to Amsterdam rather than constantly complain about how stupid Americans are?"
#1: "Come on Claude (lol, his name's Claude). Let's leave this redneck to himself."
OH NO HE DIDN'T.
Me: "Where are you from?"
#1: "Toledo, Ohio. I don't see how that's important."
Me: "It's important because you're from Ohio, and I'm from New fucking York. Care to call me a redneck again?"
Store manager comes over and asks us what's wrong. They say nothing and they leave.
Considering I was half-drunk at the time, I think I conducted myself very well. Alcohol increases my assertiveness, it seems. Drinking for the win!
Pretentious asshat #1: "I think France is such a civilized country. They're so forward-thinking."
Pretentious asshat #2: "You think so? I've always had a thing for the Netherlands. My brother loves it over there."
#1: "Oh really? He still dating that Brazilian chick?"
#2: "Actually, I think he's a moron for this, but he dumped her for some Stupid American."
#1: "OH GOD!! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! AN AMERICAN?"
(at this point I am biting my tongue so hard it's bleeding)
#2: "I know... dumbass. She's from Idaho."
#1: "Does she smell like redneck?"
My mother was born in a small town outside Spokane, Washington about 5 miles from the Idaho border, so I sort of glared at them by accident.
#2. "Everyone smells like redneck in America. I SOOO need to get out of here."
So then I snapped:
Me: "Why don't you?"
#2: "Excuse me?"
Me: "If you don't like living in America, why don't you leave? Don't you think life is too short to waste it in a place you dispise?"
#2: "Well... my mother lives Upstate and I don't want to leave her alone."
Me: "Oh really? Where?"
#2: "Watertown."
Me: "Ah. So she's within an hour of Canada?"
#2: "Yes."
Me: "So why don't you move to Canada? Montreal I hear is lovely."
#1: "What are you getting at?"
Me: "Let the poor boy answer the question."
#2: "What? Oh yeah. If I do make a move, it'd be to Amsterdam."
Me: "But I thought you just said you didn't want to leave your mother all alone?"
#2: "Yeah, but she'll be fine."
Me: "So why not move to Amsterdam rather than constantly complain about how stupid Americans are?"
#1: "Come on Claude (lol, his name's Claude). Let's leave this redneck to himself."
OH NO HE DIDN'T.
Me: "Where are you from?"
#1: "Toledo, Ohio. I don't see how that's important."
Me: "It's important because you're from Ohio, and I'm from New fucking York. Care to call me a redneck again?"
Store manager comes over and asks us what's wrong. They say nothing and they leave.
Considering I was half-drunk at the time, I think I conducted myself very well. Alcohol increases my assertiveness, it seems. Drinking for the win!
Yet another rant
Yes, I'm in the mood for ranting tonight. I've actually had a good day, but tonight I need to write a 2500 word paper on the effects of developing Eurasian economies on the NYSE's market capitalization hegemy. So that has put me in a bad mood, and I've decided to procrastinate by posting lots of blog entries.
In any event, Glenn Beck (CNN commentator) has, on his website, a page dedicated to a 9/11 conspiracy involving the $20 bill. See for yourself:
http://www.glennbeck.com/news/05172002.shtml
I've decided to respond with my own conspiracy involving the $100 bill. Follow along with the pictoral instructions if you wish:
In any event, Glenn Beck (CNN commentator) has, on his website, a page dedicated to a 9/11 conspiracy involving the $20 bill. See for yourself:
http://www.glennbeck.com/news/05172002.shtml
I've decided to respond with my own conspiracy involving the $100 bill. Follow along with the pictoral instructions if you wish:
Sacagawea dollars piss me off
I knew I was going to be riding the subway back and forth all day long today (don't ask), so I decided to purchase an Unlimited Ride Metrocard for the day. Costed $7, but I only had a $10. So the bloody machine dispensed the Metrocard and three Sacagawea Dollars in change. WTF. WTF. WTF.
WTF.
Sacagawea dollars? WTF?
WTF.
So I decide to cut my losses and take the Sacagawea dollars. My residence hall has lovely vending machines on the ground floor, so I put a Sacagawea dollar in the vending machine. The coin drops to the bottom and pops out of the change dispenser. GRRR. Doesn't take Sacagawea dollars. But I don't blame it; I wouldn't either if I were a vending machine. So just a couple of hours ago, I took my newly acquired Sacagawea dollars down to the laundry room. Damn coins don't even fit into the washing machines. Worthless POS's.
Other than being entirely useless, my other issue with Sacagawea dollars is that the woman on the front, Sacagawea (Lewis and Clark took her along their fanciful journey out West), didn't actually look like that. The geniuses down in Washington decided it would be a grand idea to take a random picture of an American Indian, stick it on a coin, and claim she is Sacagawea. So if we replace Susan B Anthony with a random Indian, people will flock to this coin as a replacement to the paper dollar bill? Brilliant! Maybe someday you can convince somebody other than the Metropolitan Transit Authority of New York to accept these coins as real currency.
Ugh, WTF.
WTF.
Sacagawea dollars? WTF?
WTF.
So I decide to cut my losses and take the Sacagawea dollars. My residence hall has lovely vending machines on the ground floor, so I put a Sacagawea dollar in the vending machine. The coin drops to the bottom and pops out of the change dispenser. GRRR. Doesn't take Sacagawea dollars. But I don't blame it; I wouldn't either if I were a vending machine. So just a couple of hours ago, I took my newly acquired Sacagawea dollars down to the laundry room. Damn coins don't even fit into the washing machines. Worthless POS's.
Other than being entirely useless, my other issue with Sacagawea dollars is that the woman on the front, Sacagawea (Lewis and Clark took her along their fanciful journey out West), didn't actually look like that. The geniuses down in Washington decided it would be a grand idea to take a random picture of an American Indian, stick it on a coin, and claim she is Sacagawea. So if we replace Susan B Anthony with a random Indian, people will flock to this coin as a replacement to the paper dollar bill? Brilliant! Maybe someday you can convince somebody other than the Metropolitan Transit Authority of New York to accept these coins as real currency.
Ugh, WTF.
Vermont
One of my friends here at NYU has way too much money for his own good. So he owns a car. A car in NYC!!! I don't even want to know what he pays for car insurance, or to rent a parking space for that matter. But anyway, I convinced him to ditch classes for a few days and drive up to Vermont to get snowed in with me. Come hell or high water, I was going to see a fucking snowstorm.
We decided to drive to Albany, about two hours north, and decide where to go from there based on guidance (aka the same shitty models that forecasted a blizzard for NYC a few days earlier). Guidance said to go to Montpelier, Vermont.
At this point it was 9pm and flurrying - LOVELY :D
So we drove to Montpelier and got in at around midnight. A shady Motel 6 right off Interstate 86 only charged us $48 for the night... huzzah! Radar showed some great mesoscale bands coming into the Montpelier area, so naturally I couldn't get to sleep. Visibility dropped to zero at around 3am for the first time, and we were rockin' and rollin' in blizzard conditions. I think by this point in time, Josh was wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into, but that's ok.
Finally went to bed at 6am and woke up a few hours later. SIX INCHES OF SNOW ON THE GROUND ALREADY!!!! I went outside and rolled around a bit. And by a bit, I mean a fuckload. Snowfall rates around 2" per hour at this point in time. Snow let up late that night, with 17" total. Not bad.
Unfortunately, both Vermont and New York State are phenominal at clearing snow off the highways, so we were able to drive back to the City Thursday afternoon. *sigh* Anyway, NYC had 3 inches of gluppity glop when I got back. Roads still needed to be plowed. And oh yeah, our Moron Mayor Mike had refused to lift alternate-side rules, so tons of people were ticketed for not moving their cars, which happened to be glued to the ground by a sheet of ice. Way to go Bloomy.
We decided to drive to Albany, about two hours north, and decide where to go from there based on guidance (aka the same shitty models that forecasted a blizzard for NYC a few days earlier). Guidance said to go to Montpelier, Vermont.
At this point it was 9pm and flurrying - LOVELY :D
So we drove to Montpelier and got in at around midnight. A shady Motel 6 right off Interstate 86 only charged us $48 for the night... huzzah! Radar showed some great mesoscale bands coming into the Montpelier area, so naturally I couldn't get to sleep. Visibility dropped to zero at around 3am for the first time, and we were rockin' and rollin' in blizzard conditions. I think by this point in time, Josh was wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into, but that's ok.
Finally went to bed at 6am and woke up a few hours later. SIX INCHES OF SNOW ON THE GROUND ALREADY!!!! I went outside and rolled around a bit. And by a bit, I mean a fuckload. Snowfall rates around 2" per hour at this point in time. Snow let up late that night, with 17" total. Not bad.
Unfortunately, both Vermont and New York State are phenominal at clearing snow off the highways, so we were able to drive back to the City Thursday afternoon. *sigh* Anyway, NYC had 3 inches of gluppity glop when I got back. Roads still needed to be plowed. And oh yeah, our Moron Mayor Mike had refused to lift alternate-side rules, so tons of people were ticketed for not moving their cars, which happened to be glued to the ground by a sheet of ice. Way to go Bloomy.
First post!!!
I can think of no hobby as time-consuming and un-rewarding as weather tracking.
Last Thursday, the GFS, Euro, NAM, UKmet, and pretty much every other weather model out there was showing a major snowstorm for the Philadelphia/Baltimore/DC corridor. I was rather pissed at the time - storm was being surpressed to the south of NYC leaving Philly with a foot and NYC with an inch. Models were consistent with that solution through Friday.
I woke up Saturday morning to see the models were creating a secondary low off the Carolina coast that would track up the east coast, giving all major cities from Boston down to DC a blizzard. NOR'EASTAH!!! Henry Margusity of Accuweather was giggling like a schoolgirl on his video blog, and pro mets up and down the Northeast were hyping up the VALENTINE'S DAY BLIZZARD OF 2007. Ahhh wintertime oh wintertime, pattern of life indelible. I was so psyched beyond belief.
Went to bed that night feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Woke up the following morning feeling the same way. Models remained consistent through the night. Then the GFS came in... if I'm recalling correctly it was the 6z run. Very ugly... massive rainstorm for the coastal cities with the snow being kept mostly inland. Ugh. NAM and Euro followed suit. Soon the only model showing a blizzard for NYC was the UKmet (I like to call her the Ukie). Ukie dearest, unfortunately, can't deal with rain/snow lines, which isn't surprising since it's all rain, all the time in the UK. But weather n00bs (and Joe Bastardi, for some reason) around the internet clung to this model anyhow.
By Monday morning, all models except the Ukie were showing a rainstorm for the I-95 corridor; even worse than yesterday's runs that showed at least a few inches of snow and ice. But the ensembles were still showing some snow and ice for me. This, naturally, spawned an entire debate about ensembles vs operationals, but such is the life of a weather hobbyist.
But even the ensembles were only showing a few inches of snow/ice. This wasn't enough - I needed a bloody blizzard!!! So what did I do? Tuesday night I drove to Vermont, forcasted to be ground zero for this storm. More on that later.
Last Thursday, the GFS, Euro, NAM, UKmet, and pretty much every other weather model out there was showing a major snowstorm for the Philadelphia/Baltimore/DC corridor. I was rather pissed at the time - storm was being surpressed to the south of NYC leaving Philly with a foot and NYC with an inch. Models were consistent with that solution through Friday.
I woke up Saturday morning to see the models were creating a secondary low off the Carolina coast that would track up the east coast, giving all major cities from Boston down to DC a blizzard. NOR'EASTAH!!! Henry Margusity of Accuweather was giggling like a schoolgirl on his video blog, and pro mets up and down the Northeast were hyping up the VALENTINE'S DAY BLIZZARD OF 2007. Ahhh wintertime oh wintertime, pattern of life indelible. I was so psyched beyond belief.
Went to bed that night feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Woke up the following morning feeling the same way. Models remained consistent through the night. Then the GFS came in... if I'm recalling correctly it was the 6z run. Very ugly... massive rainstorm for the coastal cities with the snow being kept mostly inland. Ugh. NAM and Euro followed suit. Soon the only model showing a blizzard for NYC was the UKmet (I like to call her the Ukie). Ukie dearest, unfortunately, can't deal with rain/snow lines, which isn't surprising since it's all rain, all the time in the UK. But weather n00bs (and Joe Bastardi, for some reason) around the internet clung to this model anyhow.
By Monday morning, all models except the Ukie were showing a rainstorm for the I-95 corridor; even worse than yesterday's runs that showed at least a few inches of snow and ice. But the ensembles were still showing some snow and ice for me. This, naturally, spawned an entire debate about ensembles vs operationals, but such is the life of a weather hobbyist.
But even the ensembles were only showing a few inches of snow/ice. This wasn't enough - I needed a bloody blizzard!!! So what did I do? Tuesday night I drove to Vermont, forcasted to be ground zero for this storm. More on that later.
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