http://www.newsday.com/news/local/newyork/ny-bc-ny-nyccondom0404apr04,0,4203728.story?track=rss
How many of these five million condoms are actually going to people who couldn't afford a whopping dollar (more or less) to buy a condom from the private sector? Something tells me the answer to that query would be zero. Show me one person who seriously wants to use condoms but cannot afford to buy them, and I'll eat my shoe.
It's 1am and I'm too tired to keep thinking about such a stupid idea. Need sleep....
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
For my favourite airline <3
I'm somewhat of a frequent flyer, making the 12 hour, $700 treck from New York to Montana a couple times a year. And since Delta is the only major airline that serves most towns in Montana, I fly with them. Here are some suitable phrases I think Delta stands for:
Doesn't Ever Leave The Airport
Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive
Don't Expect to Leave on Time, Asshole
Do Expect Large Turbulance Amounts
Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
Doesn't Everything Lead To Atlanta?
Does Every Little Thing Awfully
Don't Expect Luxurious Treatment Aboard
Do Expect Lame-ass transfers at Atlanta
More as they come to mind.
Doesn't Ever Leave The Airport
Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive
Don't Expect to Leave on Time, Asshole
Do Expect Large Turbulance Amounts
Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
Doesn't Everything Lead To Atlanta?
Does Every Little Thing Awfully
Don't Expect Luxurious Treatment Aboard
Do Expect Lame-ass transfers at Atlanta
More as they come to mind.
Cold air moving in - coldest April on record?
I think we have a chance of this happening. February was one of the coldest on record for the tri-state area. I believe the 2nd coldest ever for Central Park. March was also below average. We're almost certain to be well below average for April (forcasting a high of 39 on Easter, for example). Coldest on record, though? Hard to say. Right now I'll say it'll be one of the five coldest on record for NYC. In any case, I don't think we'll break 70 the entire month. Might break 60 here and there, though. Average high temp will be 49, low will be 35. On the record!
Snow flurries for Easter as well. Maybe up to an inch if we're lucky, giving us a white Valentine's Day, a white St Patrick's Day, and a white Easter. Too bad Christmas was green.
Also, where is this global warming? I've been looking for it. :(
Snow flurries for Easter as well. Maybe up to an inch if we're lucky, giving us a white Valentine's Day, a white St Patrick's Day, and a white Easter. Too bad Christmas was green.
Also, where is this global warming? I've been looking for it. :(
Monday, April 2, 2007
Why does it not let me leave comments on the post below?
Does it let anyone else leave comments? Stupidly annoying. Oh well, if you can't comment on the post below but wish to, leave a comment here. *sigh*
Stupid blogger.
Stupid blogger.
Now that I've returned to sanity, a tidbit on state quarters
Today the Washington State Quarter was released, marking the 42nd state quarter to be issued:
Within a handful of weeks, I can look forward to this quarter invading my wallets and my pockets. And as always, NYU's washing machines will pitch a tizzy due to the new quarter's slightly different weight. Man I hate state quarters.
But let's look at the design. A fish, a mountain, and some evergreens. Gee, I wonder what other state has those things. Let's see... Oregon, California, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, South Carolina, Georgia, Arkansas, Missouri, Alaska, and Hawaii.
You are one of the most unique states in the country, and this is what you have to show for it? I can think of tons of ideas that would make for a better Washington state quarter. How's about a portrait of Bill Gates on the coin's front, the Windows logo on the back, with the words "In DOS we trust" inscribed on the front. That would be so sweet.
Or how's about this: a picture of a delightfully delicious Venti Java Chip Frappuccino on the front, with the Starbucks logo on the back. Speaking of which, just thinking about such a thing makes me hungry. BRB, gonna go make a run to the local Starbucks and put more money into my Seattle overlords' pockets.
*runs to Starbucks*
*sees four hobos in Washington Square*
*trips over a midgit on Broadway*
*laughs at the "frozen Democrats" outside Starbucks*
*stands on line for a mere five minutes despite the fact that 20 people are ahead of me*
*recieves his Frap and stumbles back*
OK, back. And I didn't drink it all on the way back! Still have half left, in fact.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, I remember. I experienced the most professional servicing from a Vietnamese prostitute over in Alphabit City the other day. They grow them well in 'Nam.
Oh wait, now I remember. I was talking about state quarters, NOT Vietnamese prostitutes.
Since Washington is statistically the least religious state in America, another cool idea for its state quarter would be to change the slogan to "In God we DON'T trust." They can have the Darwin fishie with cute little legs on the front, with a map of Canada + Washington (what Canada would look like after Washington secedes to join Canada) on the back. Maybe somewhere within this map they can have a mini picture of that Lenin statue they have in Seattle, and have "In COMMIES we trust" just below it. I'd disagree with the communist tidbit, but the Darwinian front would make the scientist in me smile.
Or how's about a ratty old house with a hippy bus parked in the driveway (why is it that you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? That question confounds me to this day). Washington is full of aging, past-their-prime hippies with ratty houses and hippy buses. On the back can be a flower with the slogan "FLOWER POWER."
*remembers that George Washington's portrait is on the front of all state quarters, so the fronts cannot legally be changed according to US Mint regulations*
*doesn't care*
You know who has the best state quarter? Indiana. Take a look:
If this quarter doesn't kick ass, I don't know what does. Nothing is more unique to Indiana than Indy racing. I mean, it's hundreds of miles of barren flatland, with a faceless who-gives-a-shit city slap bang in the middle and a gawdawful dump (Gary) in the state's North. The fact that the state was able to pinpoint the only good, unique thing about this otherwise generic fly-over state is worthy of applause. Indycar racing is wonderful for one reason: it's racing, but it's NOT Nascar. It's Nascar's main competition. It's Nascar without the Southern rednecks. It's Nascar without the suck. I live for the Indianapolis 500 (actually, I've never taken the time to watch it before, but nevermind that little technicality). Idaho, your state quarter comes out next. Take note of Indiana. If you put "famous potatoes" on your quarter, I'm going to have to prank-call some local pizzerias in protest. I could call in with a thick Southern accent and ask for grits on my pizza, and demand that anyone other than a black guy make it. That'd teach Idaho a lesson for sure.
Within a handful of weeks, I can look forward to this quarter invading my wallets and my pockets. And as always, NYU's washing machines will pitch a tizzy due to the new quarter's slightly different weight. Man I hate state quarters.
But let's look at the design. A fish, a mountain, and some evergreens. Gee, I wonder what other state has those things. Let's see... Oregon, California, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, South Carolina, Georgia, Arkansas, Missouri, Alaska, and Hawaii.
You are one of the most unique states in the country, and this is what you have to show for it? I can think of tons of ideas that would make for a better Washington state quarter. How's about a portrait of Bill Gates on the coin's front, the Windows logo on the back, with the words "In DOS we trust" inscribed on the front. That would be so sweet.
Or how's about this: a picture of a delightfully delicious Venti Java Chip Frappuccino on the front, with the Starbucks logo on the back. Speaking of which, just thinking about such a thing makes me hungry. BRB, gonna go make a run to the local Starbucks and put more money into my Seattle overlords' pockets.
*runs to Starbucks*
*sees four hobos in Washington Square*
*trips over a midgit on Broadway*
*laughs at the "frozen Democrats" outside Starbucks*
*stands on line for a mere five minutes despite the fact that 20 people are ahead of me*
*recieves his Frap and stumbles back*
OK, back. And I didn't drink it all on the way back! Still have half left, in fact.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, I remember. I experienced the most professional servicing from a Vietnamese prostitute over in Alphabit City the other day. They grow them well in 'Nam.
Oh wait, now I remember. I was talking about state quarters, NOT Vietnamese prostitutes.
Since Washington is statistically the least religious state in America, another cool idea for its state quarter would be to change the slogan to "In God we DON'T trust." They can have the Darwin fishie with cute little legs on the front, with a map of Canada + Washington (what Canada would look like after Washington secedes to join Canada) on the back. Maybe somewhere within this map they can have a mini picture of that Lenin statue they have in Seattle, and have "In COMMIES we trust" just below it. I'd disagree with the communist tidbit, but the Darwinian front would make the scientist in me smile.
Or how's about a ratty old house with a hippy bus parked in the driveway (why is it that you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? That question confounds me to this day). Washington is full of aging, past-their-prime hippies with ratty houses and hippy buses. On the back can be a flower with the slogan "FLOWER POWER."
*remembers that George Washington's portrait is on the front of all state quarters, so the fronts cannot legally be changed according to US Mint regulations*
*doesn't care*
You know who has the best state quarter? Indiana. Take a look:
If this quarter doesn't kick ass, I don't know what does. Nothing is more unique to Indiana than Indy racing. I mean, it's hundreds of miles of barren flatland, with a faceless who-gives-a-shit city slap bang in the middle and a gawdawful dump (Gary) in the state's North. The fact that the state was able to pinpoint the only good, unique thing about this otherwise generic fly-over state is worthy of applause. Indycar racing is wonderful for one reason: it's racing, but it's NOT Nascar. It's Nascar's main competition. It's Nascar without the Southern rednecks. It's Nascar without the suck. I live for the Indianapolis 500 (actually, I've never taken the time to watch it before, but nevermind that little technicality). Idaho, your state quarter comes out next. Take note of Indiana. If you put "famous potatoes" on your quarter, I'm going to have to prank-call some local pizzerias in protest. I could call in with a thick Southern accent and ask for grits on my pizza, and demand that anyone other than a black guy make it. That'd teach Idaho a lesson for sure.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
if these ten things were women id totally bang them!!!
1. alabama - sweet home alabama yee haw!!!! i love the south. the accent is so hot. and dont get me started on those burning crosses. they make me HOT!!!!! literally and figuratively ROTFLMAOLOL southerners are the only true americans.
2. hillary clinton - omg champion of all thats right in the world. she will lead us into a one world communist revolution, just what we need. damn cappies.
3. the british empire - bring back the british empire! because ireland sucks. so does ghandi. so does america. especially that hole they call NOO YAWK LOL soon youll all be colonies again, peons.
4. macintosh - windows sux. cool people use macs. havent you ever seen the commercials? only capitalist bastards use windows. look at bill gates mister cappie bastard himself.
5. dunken donuts - because starbucks sux and is too expensive.
6. the boston red sox - YANKEES SUCKS LOL. srsly who likes them anyway? round up all yankees fans and send them back to canada. matsuzaka is the next babe ruth, youve heard it hear first.
7. intelligent design - its intelligent, nuff said LOL! no really tho i feel that evolution is a satanic conspiracy and thats what i believe and u have you respect that. in fact, what we really need is to put jesus's face on all our currency instead of those damn scientific presidents. i love you jesus.
8. car insurance rates in nyc - nice and affordable averaging 3000 per year. i definitely have that kind of money to burn. <3 payin for car insurance
9. summer weather - because snow SUX!!! what sucks more than having to take 5 extra minutes to drive into work in the morning? i dunno because that sucks harder than the libertarian party LOLROFLCRAFT!!!!
10. the government - governments in general are just so fine. especially big ones. what we need now is more patriot acts, more iraq wars, more taxes, more welfare, and especially a one world government. libertarians are so stupid.
thank you so much for reading this. i am forever indebted to your kickassness.
2. hillary clinton - omg champion of all thats right in the world. she will lead us into a one world communist revolution, just what we need. damn cappies.
3. the british empire - bring back the british empire! because ireland sucks. so does ghandi. so does america. especially that hole they call NOO YAWK LOL soon youll all be colonies again, peons.
4. macintosh - windows sux. cool people use macs. havent you ever seen the commercials? only capitalist bastards use windows. look at bill gates mister cappie bastard himself.
5. dunken donuts - because starbucks sux and is too expensive.
6. the boston red sox - YANKEES SUCKS LOL. srsly who likes them anyway? round up all yankees fans and send them back to canada. matsuzaka is the next babe ruth, youve heard it hear first.
7. intelligent design - its intelligent, nuff said LOL! no really tho i feel that evolution is a satanic conspiracy and thats what i believe and u have you respect that. in fact, what we really need is to put jesus's face on all our currency instead of those damn scientific presidents. i love you jesus.
8. car insurance rates in nyc - nice and affordable averaging 3000 per year. i definitely have that kind of money to burn. <3 payin for car insurance
9. summer weather - because snow SUX!!! what sucks more than having to take 5 extra minutes to drive into work in the morning? i dunno because that sucks harder than the libertarian party LOLROFLCRAFT!!!!
10. the government - governments in general are just so fine. especially big ones. what we need now is more patriot acts, more iraq wars, more taxes, more welfare, and especially a one world government. libertarians are so stupid.
thank you so much for reading this. i am forever indebted to your kickassness.
Jackie has a job!!!!!!!!!
Only one more month of school in my life evar!!! Starting in November, I will be working on a missile guidance project for Honeywell, a multinational aerospace company (my favourite <3) in NJ. Got the offer last Friday (although I didn't actually check my messeges to see the offer until Sunday x_x), negotiated a signing bonus and accepted today.
From now on, I will only respond to "His Majesty, Supreme Rocket Scientist Jack." Grovel, peons!
(obviously I was joking with the above comment, for those of you with no sarcasm detector)
From now on, I will only respond to "His Majesty, Supreme Rocket Scientist Jack." Grovel, peons!
(obviously I was joking with the above comment, for those of you with no sarcasm detector)
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